In spring of 2009, I was about to teach my first class at New York University’s School of Continuing Education. My hands were shaking, my back was sweating and my mind was racing.
I had crafted a thorough syllabus, so I had a plan to follow. I had asked other teachers for tips beforehand, so I had a technique to attempt. I just had no experience and no real idea of what I was doing.
The clock turned from 5:59 to 6:00pm, and the class began. The students looked at me, I made the mistake of making eye contact with a few of the doe-eyed eager learners in the front row and I froze. I thought to myself “Run you fraud, you can’t do this!”
Then another thought appeared.
“Just act as if you’re a really good teacher, follow your plan, be honest and improvise where needed. The worse thing they can do is have you fired after this class. No one will hunt you down to kill you.”
I giggled at that thought and with that, my tension released and the class happened. Students had been succeeding in understanding the info I was passing along, but I wasn’t sure if they received value from it. Then two students who had been chatty with each other all class were leaving the room, when the first girl turned to the second and exclaimed:
“This class was great wasn’t it!? I feel like I finally know how to use my Mac!”
Her friend agreed, and then they literally skipped out of the class. My knees buckled a bit, and I sat down, washed in relief. I could, maybe, possibly, do this again. And I did do it again. I taught about 4, sometimes as many as 6, Design ( User Experience, Information Architecture, and Visual Design ) classes a year for about six years. This led to also starting a design Meetup (that I desperately need to reboot) as well as occasionally facilitating design and strategy workshops as part of my UX Generalist / Product Design practice.
The memory of all this was triggered the other day when a colleague was mentioning the extreme anxiety they felt during any attempt to speak publicly. The following suggestions, that may help you also, spouted out from me over Slack:
What other people think of you is none of your business. At least not while you’re in front of your audience or students. Your untucked shirt, bloated belly or piece of lettuce on your front tooth ( I have had all ) should have been handled before you got up there. The people in front of you are human beings who have also been also awkward and disheveled at some point in their lives as well, breathe deeply, relax and go with it.
Be human and honest. The only time I don’t enjoy a speaker is when I don’t think they are being themselves or they apologize. Presenters being uncomfortable / getting in the way of their message, derails me absorbing and learning. ‘A post I wrote that’s somewhat related here.
Over Prepare. When I’ve struggled teaching, speaking at a gathering, or just being in meeting is when I am not truly prepared. To prepare, I usually make 100-120 slides for an engagement, then edit it down to focus my points. Then I might start a completely new slide deck, fresh design, fresh words and all just because the old one has bad overworked mojo on it. Weird right? But it works—for me. I create, recreate and then by the time I’m suppose to present, I’m so sick of the content that I almost don’t have to look at the slides. Find your own creation process for this..or rather /create/ it!
You will be valuable to someone in the audience. Don’t hope for thunderous applause, laughter or even smiles. Strive to get through your content and deliver points as clearly as possibly. That in and of itself is a job well done.
Commit to Improving. After you’re done, reactions from the crowd and feedback on the spot or through a survey will tell you how you did. Make a promise to yourself to listen to, or read it all and improve.
Commit to Daily Maintenance. I do a small yoga routine almost every morning. It’s how I meditate, unwind, and connect. This is a time that yields a tremendous release of fear, self doubt and anxiety. Maybe a similar daily routine that reduces stress and incentivizes discipline will help you? I’m throwing this tip in just because I’m a dad now..so there.
Conclusion
There are too many untalented “celebrities” in this world. So the imposter syndrome I feel at times is intense. But I truly believe we all have skills and ideas that are worth transmitting. Please don’t hide yours from the world, get out there if you are drawn to do so. I believe just wanting to be on stage doesn’t make you special or interesting. Your story, perspective and your personal understanding of a craft or an idea makes you special! In the words of Mark Twain, used as a quote in posts like these far too often:
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”